Special Announcement: Heart-Throbbing Thursdays

My favorite season has finally arrived! I thought the best way to appreciate it as well as the upcoming holiday is to share spooky stories (fictional/nonfictional) until Halloween. I have had a lot of creepy experiences and created a few more in my head. I figured I’d share some of those stories to help get you more in the mood for fall. Bring a blanket and some hot tea this coming Thursday, for a creepy story time, you will have chills and your heart will definitely throb after reading it. Stayed tuned for next Thursday!

Story Time: Tongue Stuck To The Car

Welcome to Moody Monday where I share whatever my mood dictates. Today I am in the mood to share a childhood story…

I was about 10 or 11 and it was a cold winter day, I was eager to play out in the snow and secretly eat it. We had a car in the backyard that no longer worked so I would always play on top of it. I recently watched Dumb and Dumber and was rather intrigued how Jeff Daniels got his tongue stuck to a pole and how he pulled it off with minimal damage so I was itching to experiment. It first started off with just eating the snow and ice because what kid hasn’t, then I opened my mouth with determination to see if my tongue would actually stick if I licked the ice. The first try, it was slightly stuck but I was able to pull it off successfully without any consequences, then, there was the second try. The second try I can honestly say, I became too cocky. I took a big lick and that’s when I knew, I horribly messed up. It was stuck and I began to panic. Back then, us kids didn’t have cellphones so I had to come up with a solution or freeze my buns off waiting for my family to realize that I have been outside for too long. I tried the 1…2….3 method but I was too scared to go through with it, I even tried salivating enough to melt some of the ice but since it was very cold outside that attempt was unsuccessful. Five minutes felt like an eternity, finally a built up enough courage to just rip it off like a bandaid and so I did. The pain was intense and there was blood everywhere. I took some snow to stop the blood from pouring out my mouth and to look okay before I went inside. I didn’t want any of my family members to know because they would laugh hysterically at my unwise decision. I had to turn down sour candy from my dad and of course meatloaf (childhood favorite) for dinner. Concerned, my mother wanted to know why I am turning down dinner. I simply said I don’t feel well and left it at that. I didn’t tell my family until 12 years later so I could actually laugh and not cry at the fact that I went through such excruciating pain just to be like Jeff Daniels. The moral of the story: Movies are meant for entertainment purposes only.

I hope you enjoyed this Moody Monday! Tune in for next week to find out what my mood influences me to write.

Silence Speaks Louder!

Mama, have you ever had someone attack you for your parenting or your lifestyle and you just wanted to bring more fuel to the fire and attack back? I completely understand and have felt the same. However, there is power in silence and not entertaining their opinions about you. Reacting to what others say about you only gives them control over how you feel. Why give someone control over you, when it’s your life to live. You decide as a parent and a human being to make your own decisions that shouldn’t concern others. You know what’s best for you and your family. If someone wants to be bold enough to criticize your life, remember they are irrelevant, simply disengage and leave them on read. A person can only talk for so long until they are talking to themselves. Your silence will be enough to get your point across. Silence is powerful and it’s an effective tool if someone wants to waste their breath and keep your name and what you do in their mouth. Whether it’s family, friends or just a random person, reading them their rights is not always necessary especially when it effects your peace. There is strength in silence, maybe then the naysayers will have nothing else to do but to deal with their own issues that they are avoiding. Silence speaks louder and can clap back without words. Take care of yourself mama, you are doing great!

Moody Monday Featuring: Friction

Welcome to Moody Monday, mamas. This is the day that I post based on my mood. Today, I felt like posting a poem that I wrote called Friction. This poem describes what it’s like going through it with your significant other and that no matter what you go through you can overcome anything if you both want it. Enjoy loves!

What have we become? What have we done? We are fierce, ravenous monsters on the same team watching each other bleed. We feed on hurt and create the steam that never seems to leave. Which direction are we going when we are foaming at the mouth? Our anger has taken us south and left us destitute in broad daylight. We have lost sight of what has connected us, we are slipping off of this mound of trust. It’s my fault, but I think it’s yours, but that shouldn’t really matter anymore. I swore this wouldn’t affect me, but I am horribly torn and emotionally worn, hanging on by a thread to make this work. I am waiting for a comforting response from you but I don’t want to be disappointed so I disengage and consider what I should change so I can be better for you, to comply, to aim for compromise. You are my reason to fight for the love that we created, the love that makes us sedated and satiated.

The Unbothered Woman

Unbothered: not experiencing mental or physical discomfort (adjective) Slang: indifferent to criticism or negative comments; not annoyed or provoked.

(https://www.dictionary.com/browse/unbothered).

I am pretty sure that I was born bothered. Ever since childhood, I remember being worried about what others thought of me, felt shame when I was the topic of conversation or would be defensive to criticism. I always wondered why I was mentally made like this. Why was I so bothered about what others thought of me and their irrelevant opinions? Why did it burn straight down to my core when I heard my name in someone’s mouth? Looking back, I definitely was insecure to the point that whenever someone said something about me I took it to heart. Their thoughts began to be mine because what I heard about me from others was what I was always going to believe first. I missed several opportunities to be at peace with myself but what really hindered that was fear, insecurity and being highly self-conscious. I was feeling bothered for years. I couldn’t walk into a room without wanting to know what others thought about me. I tortured myself with being bothered. When I wasn’t bothered by something or someone, I was lost and didn’t know what to do with myself. If I wasn’t worried, I didn’t feel right. Worrying and being bothered was familiar and my normal and it was hard to depart from the idea that I, Naomi, could never be bothered again in my life. Allow me to tell what helped me become the unbothered woman that I am today. Self-love was my biggest obstacle to overcome. For most of my life, I literally hated every aspect of myself. I hated the way I talked, looked, walked, read, the color of my skin. Finally, in my late 20’s I took the steps to learn to love myself unconditionally, my skin and my culture. Now, I love being the awkward black girl, with the Afro puff and bright smile. Self-care was what I never felt worthy of. I felt undeserving because of past traumatic experiences. I decided I never want to feel depressed to the point of suicide again or take pills to ease my anxiety. I want to be content and at peace. I didn’t want anymore adverse effects to antidepressants. I wanted to be free without limitations. One step at a time, I learned about mindfulness, mental health, meditation, treating myself, taking the time to be quiet in solitude and to put myself first because if I didn’t do it, who will. I finally understood that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Self-control is one of the hardest things that I had to practice and manage. I was so used to reacting emotionally and allowing others to control me by getting me worked up. I stopped responding to social media statuses that were meant to cause strife. I brushed over subliminal messages and silently laughed in the face of negativity. I no longer feel obligated to have the last word just to prove my worth. Now, I feel complete, whole, loved, cared for and especially unbothered. The unbothered woman is me and I am she. I have the ability to practice self-love without disgust, unbothered. I am an advocate for self-care. I know when and how to take care of myself, unbothered. Self-control is my daily goal and I am successful at it, unbothered. I laugh, cry, love, smile, ponder, and create, unbothered. When nothing can make you stumble and knock you off your game, you are the unbothered woman. I can testify, that being completely unbothered is definitely achievable and worth it. Being unbothered never felt so good….

Moody Mondays, Beginning September 13th!

Happy Labor Day all! I hope you took this long weekend for self-care. I wanted to keep this post short and just make a special announcement. I have decided to dedicate Mondays, for the next few weeks, to moods! That’s right, whatever I feel like writing, whether it’s poetry, think pieces, short stories. My mind will run wild and free ( like it already has been) and write what my mood dictates. Ready to change Mondays into an unpredictable ball of moody fun? I am and I hope you are ready for what my moods have to offer ( mwahahaha). Fall, my favorite season, is just a couple of weeks away and I felt it necessary to change, upgrade and redecorate my space and make it more roomy and comfy for all. I am even going to reveal some new projects soon! Moody Mondays will begin next Monday, September 13th. Let’s get moody together!

My Friend Soulmate

“Not everyone finds their soulmate in their best friend, but for those who do, it’s one of the greatest relationships they’ll ever have. When you meet your soulmate, you’ll feel an instant connection. Before you know it, your friendship will grow and your BFF will be your go-to in any and every situation”

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/things-that-happen-when-best-friend-soulmate/2009126

I am so thankful that I have found my friend soulmate nearly a decade ago. She showed me she truly cared very early on when she invited me to her place to temporarily stay. I met her at Kohl’s, where we both worked. Honestly, I thought she was stuck-up at first, but as I got to know her better I found out she was a God-send. She is hilarious, generous, sassy, a complete nerd, shy, intelligent (af), and a true rider. We have been through so many life experiences together I couldn’t imagine existing without her. I can confidently say she is one of the few people who actually gets me. We both have a deep love for Lady Gaga (mama monster). She is one of the Godmothers to my baby girl, Luciana. She is responsible, reliable and dependable and is always there when I really need her. That says a lot because I have known people who would receive my help but never give it when asked. Let’s talk about how gorgeous this woman is. She is model tall and can slay some selfies. My heart smiles every time I think of her. I am truly grateful that she was put in my life path. She is a fellow awkward black girl and I never thought I would meet someone like me who is not the “stereotypical” black girl, it’s refreshing. Mamas, if you ever find a friend soulmate like I have found mine, don’t ever let them go no matter what happens in life, friend soulmates are true, rare gems that should be handled with care. Today, my friend soulmate, Syria, celebrates her 30th birthday ( she literally doesn’t look a day over 22) and I wanted to celebrate her and our friendship on her special day ( shout-out to all of the Virgos!). I want to encourage all you mamas out there, that if you found your platonic soulmate never let them go because a void will always be present if you do. Love on your besties today and treat them to whatever makes their soul happy!

My bestie, Syria

Create Realistic Short-Term Goals For Success

Have you ever been disappointed that you didn’t accomplish a goal? Maybe you wanted a new car but your credit score was lower than you thought and you weren’t approved for that loan or you had a goal to lose a certain amount of weight within a month but it didn’t happen. I completely understand, that’s why I created daily short-term goals for myself to accomplish. It has been proven, if you set short-term goals for yourself it boosts self-confidence, improves mood, and it leads the way to accomplish your long-term goals. When I think of long-term goals I envision buying a house, improving health and fitness, vacationing abroad, and building a successful business. Obviously, long-term goals takes time but the good thing about that is, you can take your time, there is no need to rush to accomplish your long-term goals when you have short-term ones that can quickly be achieved. Personally, I like to jot down daily tasks that I want done and put it on a calendar so I can mark it off when I am finished. This is the most simplest way of achieving short-term goals. I consider short-term goals to be: cleaning out a closet, mopping floors, laundry, getting an oil change, buying tires, or beginning your fitness journey with working out three times a week. Short-term goals that I have planned for this week are: incorporating fruits and veggies in my daily diet, drink a gallon of water each day, clean my master bath, and organize my hygiene cabinet. Once I complete my short-term goals it gives me the extra motivation that I need to chip away at my long terms goals. Mama, you don’t have to be overwhelmed and frustrated by long-term goals taking longer than expected. Write down some short-term goals and achieve them. Even if it’s small, it’s still success. A short-term goal is better than no goal.

Be Present

As moms, we have a tendency to always plan ahead because our kids have appointments, school, needs and extracurricular activities that have to be well thought out. We are constantly dwelling on the future instead of existing in the present. What I mean by that is we can miss out on the precious moments that may only happen once if we don’t stop and take the time to recognize and acknowledge it. I get it, we are busy boss mamas that have to think of the future for the sake of our children and their well-being. However, it’s not the best idea to always think ahead. I encourage you to stay present and in the moment, let things be. Visit your loved one, stay present. Spend quality time with your kids on the couch without modern day distractions, remain present. Look out the window, relax and enjoy the sunshine, be present. I believe a lot of our stresses will be alleviated if we just breathe the moment in and be present. Soak in the now like it’s a sponge and exist in the moment, not just in the future. Tomorrow is not promised, don’t wait until the next day to be in the present, start today, begin now. The future is too late to experience what the present offers us. Experiencing the present and making the most out of it will cut down on future regrets. No matter how busy you get, breathe and practice being present.

Need A Boost Of Energy? Drink Celsius

I had one of those days where I was dragging my feet, had no motivation in sight and my eyes were heavy. I was in desperate need of energy. I didn’t want to chug down some coffee because coffee always gives me a headache afterwards. I didn’t have the patience for tea because it lacks the amount of caffeine that I really needed to accomplish what I had to do. I wanted something healthy that will give me the boost of energy that I required to accomplish the things that I had planned for that day. I decided to turn to my favorite store, Target ( never let’s me down) to see what can help. Lo and behold I found a healthy energy drink, Celsius. This drink contains: Green Tea, EGCG, Caffeine, Guarana Seed Extract, Taurine and Ginger Root Extract which boosts your metabolic rate. No this drink doesn’t taste like grass and dirt. Celsius has a variety of flavors, that taste amazing, including my favorite, sparkling watermelon. This makes me completely content because when I was younger and took more risks with my health, sipped on Monster energy drinks that taste like pure sugar and made me feel the worst after the energy boost was long gone. Finally, I found a healthy energy drink, that tastes great and gives me the extra boost of energy that I need. These drinks are on the pricier side, retailing at $2 a can but you will have guaranteed energy, you will be more focused and feel great. If you have boss mama duties to fulfill and are low on energy, I highly recommend Celsius!